‘Children are a heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward’ ~Psalm 127:3
My first pregnancy was such a breeze…Not even fair really, now that I look back on it. No morning sickness, I wore the same clothes until 7 months and the same pants throughout. I had great energy, worked until days before I delivered, labor and delivery was less than 6hrs, and the hospital had my room and epidural waiting for me when I got there! I even had time for a quick snooze before it came time to push!
I have since joked that I would never have another baby because chances that it could ever go that smoothly again are slim to none….boy was I right! No wonder so many mothers rolled their eyes at me when they asked how I was doing and how delivery went, ha!
I am now 19 weeks along with our baby boy and have been miserable the whole time! Morning sickness from the point of conception (seriously, all the tests kept saying negative but I knew better), and even though that has eased up this winter has been the worst ever cold and flu season. I’ve had 2 colds that seem to last forever, 2 sinus infections and an ear infection. I’ve never had either of those in my entire life! I have been exhausted to the point where I have made my husband pick me up from work or didn’t take the kids to school because I felt unsafe to drive. I lay in bed soooo tired, but I can’t seem to sleep, and since I’m pregnant I can’t take anything to put me to sleep.
Other things are different this time around too. The excitement isn’t the same. At first I felt guilty about this, but how could I really expect it to be the same? The first time for anything is always new and exciting… now, I’ve been there done that. I’ve read the books, taken the classes, joined the mom groups, experienced the joys and pains. I’ve even gone through it along side many friends in the 4 yrs between pregnancies.
I know this sounds awful, but I also know many women who experience this and are afraid to say it. I think it’s time someone puts it out there!
Not enjoying your pregnancy or not feeling excited about it doesn’t make you an awful mother or unloving person. It’s hard to look beyond the seemingly unending nausea and ligament pain sometimes. It’s hard to get the energy to read all those cute name books or surf the Internet for the latest baby or maternity trends when you haven’t slept more than a 2 hour stretch for weeks because you have to keep getting up to pee and you’re already drained after chasing a little one around all day.
Give yourself a break mom! You don’t have to become supermom from the point you pee on the stick. Besides, you’re pregnancy brain probably made you forget where you put the cape anyway.
You have a right to feel awful and want nothing more than to lay in bed with the blankets over your head. It’s exhausting making those fingers and toes you will soon be counting. It takes all your energy and nutrients and crazy hormones to perfect this little bundle God is blessing you with right now. You will have plenty of time to be excited and glowing from the joy of motherhood once you are holding that precious child.
For now, only you can take care of you, and taking care of you is the best way to take care of baby. So let the guilt go. Let hubby, friends, grandparents, aunts, and uncles help ease some of your load and give you a chance to rest. If your kids are old enough ask them to lend a helping hand with chores, it’s a great chance for them to learn empathy and responsibility. Each week read with your husband on what is developing that week and pray about it. It will help keep you both connected and will help you stay positive and as enthusiastic as possible. It’s amazing the rejuvenation that occurs during prayer!
As you look at the rate of growth and development that occurs each week it will help you focus on the fact that God is in it with you. Although you feel alone in your nausea and sleeplessness, no matter how great and supportive your husband may be, it is a great comfort to know that our father is walking this walk with you every step by uncomfortable step. I also found it interesting to look at how I felt and compare it to what was developing. The week I felt my absolute worst was the week muscles were developing…plus you can later say ‘you better enjoy those eye lashes kid. I suffered a week of migraines making those!’
Here are a few verses for you to meditate on in your times of discomfort and desperately needing rest. I pray that this has comforted you that you are not alone in your suffering. Please share this using the social media buttons below if it has helped you or you know someone it may help. Also feel free to leave a comment with advice, encouragement or additional verses to lift up other woman in need.
Further Reading
A woman, when she is in labor, has sorrow because her hour has come; But as soon as she has given birth, she no longer remembers the anguish, For joy that a child has been born into the world. ~John 16.21
Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him, and He will help you. Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act. ~Psalm 37:5,7
For this child I have prayed and You have granted me my request. ~1 Samuel 1:27
He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. ~Isaiah 40:11
I am soooo glad you wrote this! You just told my story! People think I'm joking when I said how horrible my 2nd pregnancy was, but it really really WAS!!!! I appreciate the authenticity and am so glad that another Christian woman can be honest about her experience without people making her feel guilty b/c some women can't conceive and would love to be enduring the "sickness" I endured for 40 weeks. There's a happy medium. I was so grateful to be pregnant (and to have a beautiful, healthy baby boy), but I really needed someone to be there for me b/c it was so hard, long, and yucky!!!! Thank you for raising this issue. Honesty always builds intimacy, and we serve a God Who can take it, right?
Great article, Christin! Praying for you and the family! Much love